Date: April 17th, 2011
Time: 2:32 am
Currently listening to: "I Wouldn't Mind"- He Is We
I don't know how to feel. I'm in a weird place tonight, mentally that is. I miss Portland. I miss the quirkyness. I miss the no sales tax. I miss home. I think I'm just exhausted and I need to sleep but I need to be hold tightly and told everything is going to be alright.
I just realized something.
I am terrified of getting old.
I'm just getting used to independence now, I couldn't imagine having to depend on someone like a caregiver to do things for me.
I'm terrified of not being to do things I can do now.
I love being young and having the world at my feet.
Am I crazy? Does everyone feel this way?
Or is it the two thirty-six in the morning and Emily should really be in bed thing?
Anyone?
"You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you to run, you missed the starting gun."- Anonymous
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
We'll dance on the edge of the Hollywood sign
Date: April 6th, 2011
Time: 12:22 am
Currently listening to: "Tonight Tonight"- Hot Chelle Rae
Okay, I'm going to keep this brief because it is way past my bedtime.
I HAD THE INTERVIEW TODAY :)))))!
It went okay I think. Here is hoping I get the job. Other than that I am finally on spring break. Well technically it's not much of a break since I have a French midterm the Monday I get back (doesn't that just piss you off?). So yeah, I really should be studying but my brain thinks otherwise. Like, "Oh, there is a great big bed right next to you and it's after midnight. Isn't tantalizing? With it's warm covers and soft blankets?"
Yes, yes it is.
"Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking." -Clifton Fadiman
Time: 12:22 am
Currently listening to: "Tonight Tonight"- Hot Chelle Rae
Okay, I'm going to keep this brief because it is way past my bedtime.
I HAD THE INTERVIEW TODAY :)))))!
It went okay I think. Here is hoping I get the job. Other than that I am finally on spring break. Well technically it's not much of a break since I have a French midterm the Monday I get back (doesn't that just piss you off?). So yeah, I really should be studying but my brain thinks otherwise. Like, "Oh, there is a great big bed right next to you and it's after midnight. Isn't tantalizing? With it's warm covers and soft blankets?"
Yes, yes it is.
"Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking." -Clifton Fadiman
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Waiting for the hint of a spark
Date: March 26th, 2011
Time: 9:21 pm
Currently listening to: People conversing in the University Center
So, I'm here on one of the public computers in the UC because frankly, I'm too lazy to pull out my laptop. Today was a no good, rotten, very bad, day. I guess it started off when I woke up at one o'clock this afternoon to the sound of what sounded like a jackhammer on cement amplified by a million zillion percent. Then I go and try to get some Tereyaki food for dinner and GUESS WHAT?! My card is declined and the bank system is down. AWESOME. All I can say is: one more week until Spring Break.
BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWS! I am possibly going to be an intern for a publishing company back home. YAY! My interview is sometime during break, so excited!
Well, since I've had one of those all time classic bad days me and my friend, Brittany, are going to "celebrate" with ice cream, chocolate, popcorn, and movies that I've checked out of the library. Yay!
"You see a psychiatrist... I don't want to see a psychiatrist... You should go anyway... I'M NOT GOING!!!" - Peter from the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Time: 9:21 pm
Currently listening to: People conversing in the University Center
So, I'm here on one of the public computers in the UC because frankly, I'm too lazy to pull out my laptop. Today was a no good, rotten, very bad, day. I guess it started off when I woke up at one o'clock this afternoon to the sound of what sounded like a jackhammer on cement amplified by a million zillion percent. Then I go and try to get some Tereyaki food for dinner and GUESS WHAT?! My card is declined and the bank system is down. AWESOME. All I can say is: one more week until Spring Break.
BUT I HAVE GOOD NEWS! I am possibly going to be an intern for a publishing company back home. YAY! My interview is sometime during break, so excited!
Well, since I've had one of those all time classic bad days me and my friend, Brittany, are going to "celebrate" with ice cream, chocolate, popcorn, and movies that I've checked out of the library. Yay!
"You see a psychiatrist... I don't want to see a psychiatrist... You should go anyway... I'M NOT GOING!!!" - Peter from the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Saturday, March 12, 2011
This could really be a good life.
Date: March, 12, 2011
Time: 11:07 am
Currently listening to: "Good Life"- OneRepublic
I don't know what to believe anymore. I really don't. I'm so sick of hearing about deaths that have happened to soon. We graduate high school, looking towards the future. Some of us are going to college, some of us are going to start a family, some of us will do nothing. No one expects to die. No one graduates thinking that their own body will turn on them and that they will suffer. Countless treatments and hospital stays. Having to eat gross hospital food (like that Jell-O that has fruit in it). I mean, if God really loves us, why does He put us thorough this? Can't we all die old and in our sleep? IS IT THAT HARD?!?!
Yeah I'm mad. Yeah I'm pissed off at the world. I'm just so upset. He was fighting so hard. We raised money and his sister ran a marathon for him. It's not fair.
RIP Danny Keagbine. I didn't know you too well. You were just a friendly face, walking down the halls at Valley Catholic. But your sister and I became close our senior year. She would always talk about you and how you were "her favorite" and "out of all my brothers Danny is the one I'm most closest too". You will be missed.
"There's so many wars we fought. There's so many things we're not. But with what we have. I promise you that We're marchin' on."- OneRebublic
Time: 11:07 am
Currently listening to: "Good Life"- OneRepublic
I don't know what to believe anymore. I really don't. I'm so sick of hearing about deaths that have happened to soon. We graduate high school, looking towards the future. Some of us are going to college, some of us are going to start a family, some of us will do nothing. No one expects to die. No one graduates thinking that their own body will turn on them and that they will suffer. Countless treatments and hospital stays. Having to eat gross hospital food (like that Jell-O that has fruit in it). I mean, if God really loves us, why does He put us thorough this? Can't we all die old and in our sleep? IS IT THAT HARD?!?!
Yeah I'm mad. Yeah I'm pissed off at the world. I'm just so upset. He was fighting so hard. We raised money and his sister ran a marathon for him. It's not fair.
RIP Danny Keagbine. I didn't know you too well. You were just a friendly face, walking down the halls at Valley Catholic. But your sister and I became close our senior year. She would always talk about you and how you were "her favorite" and "out of all my brothers Danny is the one I'm most closest too". You will be missed.
"There's so many wars we fought. There's so many things we're not. But with what we have. I promise you that We're marchin' on."- OneRebublic
Thursday, March 10, 2011
They Made a Statue of Us.
Date: March 10th, 2011
Time: 12:19 am
Currently listening to: (500) Days of Summer
I'm having major writer's buildup. I'm yearning to write. I'm craving to write. I feel like I can sit down and write 6940317 pages (well, maybe that's a slight exaggeration). But here's the slight problem....
WHAT THE HELL DO I WRITE ABOUT?!?!
The characters are in a fog right now. I can see their outline but no facial features. No personality. Nothing. The plot? HA. HA. I got nothing.
So I guess you could call it writer's block? Maybe...? Or maybe it's just the product of insanity that my mind brings me at 12:30 in the morning? Perhaps.
Back to Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel.
"It's love. It's not Santa Clause"- Tom from (500) Days of Summer
Time: 12:19 am
Currently listening to: (500) Days of Summer
I'm having major writer's buildup. I'm yearning to write. I'm craving to write. I feel like I can sit down and write 6940317 pages (well, maybe that's a slight exaggeration). But here's the slight problem....
WHAT THE HELL DO I WRITE ABOUT?!?!
The characters are in a fog right now. I can see their outline but no facial features. No personality. Nothing. The plot? HA. HA. I got nothing.
So I guess you could call it writer's block? Maybe...? Or maybe it's just the product of insanity that my mind brings me at 12:30 in the morning? Perhaps.
Back to Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel.
"It's love. It's not Santa Clause"- Tom from (500) Days of Summer
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I hate to turn up out of the blue, uninvited.
Date: March 1, 2011
Time: 11:26 pm
Currently listening to: "Someone Like You"- Adele
I'm supposed to be doing homework right now. Archeology if you really wanted to know. I'm just feeling... really down. This week. This month. Has been shit. I feel really overwhelmed and my plate has been full to the brim. And of course the domino effect. My social life has exploded and I'm trying to pick up the pieces. I'm always tired. I go to bed at an unreasonable hour and once I go to sleep I never want to get out of bed. I know, that sounds terrible right? OH LIFE! WHY MUST YOU BE SO CRUEL!? I know, I know, I know, it could be worse. I could have been born like Quasimodo.
"Walk far and carry a big stick" - Teddy Roosevelt
Time: 11:26 pm
Currently listening to: "Someone Like You"- Adele
I'm supposed to be doing homework right now. Archeology if you really wanted to know. I'm just feeling... really down. This week. This month. Has been shit. I feel really overwhelmed and my plate has been full to the brim. And of course the domino effect. My social life has exploded and I'm trying to pick up the pieces. I'm always tired. I go to bed at an unreasonable hour and once I go to sleep I never want to get out of bed. I know, that sounds terrible right? OH LIFE! WHY MUST YOU BE SO CRUEL!? I know, I know, I know, it could be worse. I could have been born like Quasimodo.
"Walk far and carry a big stick" - Teddy Roosevelt
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
I'm rosy as a flushed red apple skin except I've never been as sweet
Date: February 15, 2011
Time: 2:50 pm
Currently listening to: "Tickle Me Pink"- Johnny Flynn
Valentines Day is probably my least favorite holiday. Yesterday was that day and I realized why I hated this Hallmark holiday.
I almost have the worst day ever on Valentines Day.
I didn't get to sleep until five in the morning that night since my heater decided to see how hot it could go. When I threw open the window my closet door decided to keep opening and closing with the breeze that was trickling in the stifling hot room.
When I rolled out of bed to go to class I noticed I had a package from my mom. It's a tradition for my mother to give me and my brother something red on Valentines Day. Usually the gifts are quite good. I mean, she doesn't give me diamond earrings but she usually goes out and gets something pretty cool and funky. Last year I got an Alice and Wonderland t shirt with the Red Queen. So I couldn't wait to see what's in the package for this year.
The front desk worker handed me my package and I tore it open right there. I looked inside, there I found... Work out gear. Completed with a bright red sports bra.
WORK OUT GEAR?!?!
See, I know my mom had good intentions buying this stuff for me. But ON VALENTINES DAY?!? While everyone is getting flowers and chocolates?!? I know it probably sounds bitchy and I'm the scum of the earth for a daughter but seriously work out gear for a surprise? C'mon! That's like getting an old pair of socks for Christmas! So I feel really crummy and tired and shitty the whole day. With not getting enough sleep and knowing the fact I'm the new owner of a brand new red sports bra. And to make things better? I called my boyfriend to say happy valentines day. He doesn't pick up the phone or call me back. He leaves a generic "Happy Valentines Day!" on my FaceBook wall. I knew I picked a winner haha.
But like all fairy tales. This one has a happy ending. My friend is a music major. She plays the guitar and has a killer voice. She records her songs and puts it on YouTube. She texted me late last night and she wanted to me to do harmony on a song she wrote for Valentines Day. So as 12:00 am rolled around and the worst Valentines Day of my life was coming to a close. I sat there with one of my best friends laughing until tears came to our eyes. Wanna see our video? Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hQYgDlfmh4&feature=player_embedded#at=13
Have any worse Valentines Day stories than mine? You probably do. Leave me a comment and tell me about it. :)
"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." -Author Unknown
Time: 2:50 pm
Currently listening to: "Tickle Me Pink"- Johnny Flynn
Valentines Day is probably my least favorite holiday. Yesterday was that day and I realized why I hated this Hallmark holiday.
I almost have the worst day ever on Valentines Day.
I didn't get to sleep until five in the morning that night since my heater decided to see how hot it could go. When I threw open the window my closet door decided to keep opening and closing with the breeze that was trickling in the stifling hot room.
When I rolled out of bed to go to class I noticed I had a package from my mom. It's a tradition for my mother to give me and my brother something red on Valentines Day. Usually the gifts are quite good. I mean, she doesn't give me diamond earrings but she usually goes out and gets something pretty cool and funky. Last year I got an Alice and Wonderland t shirt with the Red Queen. So I couldn't wait to see what's in the package for this year.
The front desk worker handed me my package and I tore it open right there. I looked inside, there I found... Work out gear. Completed with a bright red sports bra.
WORK OUT GEAR?!?!
See, I know my mom had good intentions buying this stuff for me. But ON VALENTINES DAY?!? While everyone is getting flowers and chocolates?!? I know it probably sounds bitchy and I'm the scum of the earth for a daughter but seriously work out gear for a surprise? C'mon! That's like getting an old pair of socks for Christmas! So I feel really crummy and tired and shitty the whole day. With not getting enough sleep and knowing the fact I'm the new owner of a brand new red sports bra. And to make things better? I called my boyfriend to say happy valentines day. He doesn't pick up the phone or call me back. He leaves a generic "Happy Valentines Day!" on my FaceBook wall. I knew I picked a winner haha.
But like all fairy tales. This one has a happy ending. My friend is a music major. She plays the guitar and has a killer voice. She records her songs and puts it on YouTube. She texted me late last night and she wanted to me to do harmony on a song she wrote for Valentines Day. So as 12:00 am rolled around and the worst Valentines Day of my life was coming to a close. I sat there with one of my best friends laughing until tears came to our eyes. Wanna see our video? Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hQYgDlfmh4&feature=player_embedded#at=13
Have any worse Valentines Day stories than mine? You probably do. Leave me a comment and tell me about it. :)
"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." -Author Unknown
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